Otherness can be difficult to recognize, not only because it is a phenomenon that has only recently been brought to awareness, but also because it does not necessarily manifest in the ways some might expect of “perpetual outsiders”. Otroverts compensate for their inability to belong with great sensitivity and uncanny ability to empathize. Far from being remote and rigid, Otroverts are warm, emotive, and amiable, which gives the impression that they are very sociable.

How can one recognize an otrovert? Let’s take a deeper look into the defining characteristics of otherness.

An otrovert can powerfully tune in and connect with another person’s mind. However, they cannot fathom how a group thinks collectively.

This is an essential otrovert experience. It is possible to deeply understand another person. As individuals, people are fascinating to otroverts, and they can experience profound familiarity, even in casual, brief meetings. Conversely, cultural norms, traditions, collective adulation or condemnation, and collective sentiment are all very foreign to an otrovert. It is hard for otroverts to experience and connect with what attracts and preoccupies a group. Consequently, an otrovert is an observer but never a true participant.

Otroverts are comfortable being alone and uncomfortably lonely amid any group of people.

An inescapable fact is that all humans are born, live and die alone. Being communal makes it possible to deny that fact: we can choose to believe that ours is a shared fate. Being alone can remind us of our true solitary fate which, for most of us who are communal, is an uncomfortable reality. An otrovert does not feel or require a shared fate. They feel comfortable in their aloneness. However, in a group, where a sense of belonging is the cement holding a group together, an otrovert cannot help but feel lonely.

Otroverts have trouble with consensus (“everybody knows”) while having no difficulty agreeing with individuals one-on-one.

The notion that the majority is right is part of the communal mentality. Acting and believing similarly reassures everyone, “we are in it together”. An otrovert does not accept the group as a final arbiter, even though it could be quite convenient. It is often a source of difficulty for an otrovert and at times outright dangerous, as questioning the consensus may disrupt the social harmony. Their caution in expressing unconventional thoughts can further lead to turning inwards.

Otroverts have plenty of original thoughts but often no one to share them with.

An otrovert, unencumbered by groupthink, is an original thinker. Consequently, ideas that are obvious to an otrovert but stray from the prevailing thinking are surprising or disturbing to the rest. An otrovert carries the risk of being seen as controversial, subversive, or even insane in certain circumstances.

Otroverts cannot be comfortable (or even successful) in a type of work that requires team players.

From our youngest years, we are conditioned to agree that the collective needs are more important than the individual ones. Learning to share as toddlers is an excellent example of this. Whether nature or nurture, this universal indoctrination of socializing into the group is achieved by most children, those who don’t suffer from cognitive, developmental, or behavioral issues. No wonder that being a “team player” is considered an absolute virtue, and an unwillingness to collaborate is viewed with derision. For an otrovert, working in a team can be exhausting. Working alone, being self-employed, or managing a team is preferable and often results in professional and personal contentment and success.

Otroverts are dedicated to their own personal traditions and habits but abhor shared rituals and customs.

Otroverts do not subscribe to communal tradition, such as religious or national ceremonies and holidays. On the other hand, an otrovert can be quite inflexible and rigid about their own personal habits and routines, which often manifests in a lack of spontaneity or sense of adventure. Otroverts are risk-averse, apprehensive, and insecure outside of their comfort zone. The same daring spirit that takes them to unchartered regions of thought is absent from the experiential side of life.

Otroverts do not ask for nor accept advice. They make their own decisions.

Most people give advice based on the assumption of shared values or collective wisdom. Therefore, advice, unless received from an expert, is unhelpful to otroverts. Otroverts trust themselves in matters of personal decisions and tend to be decisive and confident decision-makers. That said, they also tend to stay in their comfort zone, since they are characteristically not easily adaptable. While this limits their possibilities, their ability to choose a well suited course maximizes the chance for success. Otroverts are therefore limited in what they are good at, but they are extremely skilled and successful in what they do.

Otroverts do not need a lot, they love what they have.

Unfazed by social trends, the pressure of consumerism, and advertisements, otroverts do not tend to amass material possessions. Often financially successful, they view money as a means to make life easier, not as a goal. They are by no way ascetic or frugal. They love luxury and enjoy the certain distance from the masses that money offers. Those traits are not conducive to making millions of dollars, but the an otrovert is quite content with what they have and are unlikely to compromise their lifestyle to get something that they don’t feel they need.

They automatically categorize everything they encounter to whether it makes sense to them or not.

Being the ultimate authority in their own lives, otroverts must sift through the data input from their environment and decide on their own what makes sense to them. Every piece of information must pass this sensical/nonsensical filter in their mind, therefore they need more time than the average person to digest information. They also tend to be tentative and unenthusiastic about collective activities, such as summer camps, sports, or parties, as they make decisions rationally based on what will be successful rather than fun.

Otroverts recognize the absurd in human situations.

Being an observer rather than a participant gives otroverts an outsider’s point of view, which has a way of highlighting the absurd in everyday life. Otroverts find it hard to take themselves and others too solemnly. Somber events, religious ceremonies, local and universal customs, all leave the an otrovert unimpressed. But otroverts do not mock or make fun of anybody else. Instead, otroverts may enjoy self-deprecating humor and poking fun at themselves. Their intolerance to what they consider “unimportant seriousness” causes them to derail serious conversations by becoming silly and jocular, which can make those in their presence feel uncomfortable. Rather than feeling awkward, an otrovert—a prankster and jokester by nature—enjoys being misunderstood.

You feel respect for your biology and to biology in general.

Ever aware of life’s brevity, otroverts think of their body as a vehicle and tend to be respectful of it. From early life, they are risk-averse and protect themselves from harm whenever possible. They tend to eat nutritiously, sleep and rest as much as they need, and engage in physical activity, if not in any group context (gyms, classes, sports). They love the outdoors and connect powerfully with nature. They care about the environment and animal rights.

Otroverts are often interested in biology, from the microscopic to the cosmic, and have a particular aptitude to see connections within the realm of biology, physics, and philosophy. Many otroverts have a talent for synthesizing seemingly disparate observations into a coherent and often new hypothesis. In the mind of otroverts, they are stating the obvious, but to the outside world, it can be groundbreaking. Einstein’s discovery of relativity is perhaps the most tremendous example of an otrovert mind. In fact, many breakthrough discoveries are the fruit of an otrovert mind, as well as some of the greatest artistic works accomplished in solitude, such as writing, composing, painting, sculpting, etc.

Otroverts tend to live life as a fugitive. Their freedom seems to
depend on obscuring their rebellion.

From early life, the sense of being different makes an otrovert tentative and wary. The pressure to assimilate and become a member in the social communal is palpable. The forming of a social group and the required loyalty are unfamiliar to an otrovert. But otroverts do not appear to be loners from the outside. They have a social circle and are often charismatic. Since most
otroverts are not aware of the concept and their distinctive state, they feel abnormal rather than different, and tend to obscure their innate solitary tendencies from the communal. Often, as a survival mechanism, they assume the stance of a pseudo-extrovert. Playing the gregarious while actually deeply introverted is extremely taxing on an otrovert and may lead to emotional breakdown and depression, especially in earlier stages of life. By embracing their otherness and being vocal about it, otroverts are able to have a full, satisfying, and productive life.

Otroverts do not partake in shared spirituality.

Shared spirituality is a collective abstraction, like ideology, politics, race, economy, or nationality. These abstractions are viewed positively by most, but in reality they do not exist outside of the collective mind. They are coping mechanisms that the majority use to make solitude easier to accept, to give us a sense of purpose or meaning, and ultimately to distract us from the unsettling certainty of death. Otroverts do not struggle with any of these, hence do not need a shared belief to tolerate being. Their spirituality, like all other inner experiences, is private.

An otrovert is a “foul weather friend”.

An otrovert prefers quality over quantity in friendships and is always available to friends in need. Helping others is very rewarding to an otrovert, with no expectation of reciprocity. Whenever possible, friends and a partner who are otroverts as well can greatly benefit an otrovert. Friendship between two otroverts is easy to keep as neither tolerates enmeshment or codependency. The same is true of linking lives with a partner.

Otroverts need no validation from others. They are emotionally self-sufficient.

Members of a collective are naturally mindful of others’ approval or disapproval of them. The submission to the group invariably involves a measure of sacrificing one’s needs for getting along with others. This constant negotiation of needs with the other group members, the wish to blend in and be accepted by the rest, and the need for recognition by one’s peers, entail a deeper level of sacrifice that most are unaware of: the progressive loss of emotional self-reliance. An otrovert does not seek validation or opinions from others, but looks inside themselves.

Otroverts have no inherent respect for rules or regulations.

As humans, we rely on basic, natural rules for cooperation and coexistence. Good and evil, right and wrong, worthy and unworthy, are all learned concepts meant to facilitate understanding, agreement, and ultimately cooperation. An otrovert is a natural anarchist. Social structures, laws, spoken and unspoken rules are all perceived as tools to oppress individuality. Being naturally meek and conciliatory, they are likely to follow rules to keep the peace, but inside, they do not respect or defer to them.

Otroverts do not trust institutions.

This includes corporations and associations. Similarly to how otroverts consider other abstractions discussed above, such as religion, nationality, or political affiliation, any concept that binds communal people together is pointless to those who do not bind. Otroverts lack affiliation to any organization or institution no matter how venerable in the eyes of the majority. Being risk-averse, they do not rail openly, but inside, they have no desire for any affiliation.

If you see yourself or someone you know in the descriptions above, perhaps you have experience as or with otherness. Otherness can be difficult to live with when suppressed or unrecognized, which is why our mission is to raise awareness around the otherness phenomenon. When embraced and accepted, otherness is truly a gift. We invite you to fill out the otherness scale™ or get in touch to get support in harnessing the power of otherness.